One of the surprising symptoms that I have found to be related with pregnancy…is loneliness. I have probably not felt quite this lonely since high school, which was a horrible time for me. I have felt encapsulated in this bubble with barely anyone willing to penetrate it. This is not to say that my husband has not been supportive, however, the support of a man (particularly your husband and the father of your unborn child) is obviously not the same as support from friends, specifically female friends.
I will acknowledge that a large percentage of my friends are male, consequently making it uncharacteristic that I am longing to have the companion of female friends. I guess it never occurred to me that pregnancy and motherhood could cause such a division between friends. All of a sudden, it seems like there is nothing in common anymore. I have been repeatedly blown off by my closest friends. My attempts just seem to fall upon deaf ears. While I am completely aware that the motherly instincts may not come naturally to some females, I was surprised to find that I would even get the feeling that some individuals felt that pregnancy was something that was disgusting, and that it basically grossed them out to even touch my belly.
Throughout my life, I have always thought that pregnancy was beautiful, something that was ultra feminine and demonstrated our strength. While the reality of it is not quite as beautiful as the idea of it, and I have been shocked by some of the discomfort, it is only now striking a cord how my life is changing dramatically, not only slightly. I am also disturbed by the fact that I will probably have many lonely days ahead. Many other mothers have described being lonely with only the companion of their babies upon the birth of their babies.
I guess it’s just going to be me…and the little one…
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